James Fieberg

About

James "Jimbo" Fieberg is a Science and Engineering teacher at Sage Creek beginning in the 2013-2014 school year. He is known for his jokes about kids and the occasional uncensored remark.

Tips For His Class

Don't have the name Tyler Sun.

Don't steal his WiFi password.

Quotes:

"Call me Jimmy - you fail."

"Do you guys eat at home?"

"It seems like if you're male in the math department, you can't have any hair. Except for Mr. Griesbach. He's like the hairiest guy ever."

"If you're standing around doing nothing, you aren't doing anything."

"Yes it was my water cup, Yes I did put it on your laptop while you raced, No I don't see how it's my fault your laptop caught fire because it spilled."

"I hope I've ruined your dreams and aspirations because that's my job."

"Be my Facebook friend! No! I'm a millionaire! You're just curing cancer!"

"This is an edumamacational device."

"Warning: These are highly trained stunt stick figures."

"WE'RE THE THRESHOLD OF PAIN."

"The 'Threshold of Pain' sounds like a rock band."

"Good science is where, at the end, you blow something up."

"Is it wrong for a grown man to have a drawer full of Barbies?"

"If your brain doesn't hurt, I have not done my job."

"Your opinion is worthless."

"The last thing I want you to worry about is getting your homework done."

"There are only two things that people do in Wisconsin: Something that can't be talked about in front of children, and likeing the Packers. Which also can't be talked about in front of children!"

"You want me to be your biology teacher? Ferrari. You don't want me to be your biology teacher? Ferrari. Win-win right here. Ha-ha, I rule."

"WHAT THE *PBHT* ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Do your parents like you?"

"If you don't have a friend, you have bigger problems than school."

"Do you need to have an intervention about sniffing things?"

"Did you just yell 'Help'? I'm not that bad."

"If you drop my marble, someone at your group dies."

"I'll be right back, I have to make this girl feel good about herself."

"That was a good beat, Ian. So when you fail this class at least you'll have something to fall back on."

"Why would you admit that [you can't read analog clocks]? That's like saying 'I eat dirt.'"

"Thanks for the divorce guys. I'm going to go home and my wife will be all 'why do you smell like a girl?'"

"If you show up to class wearing a kilt, I'll know you're cheating."

"Sit down and shut up!"

"Don't put things in holes they don't belong in."

"No, I do not look like this Scout guy. I'm better-looking."

"Ladies! Gentlemen! Aliens! Are you ready?!"

"Mr. Fieberg dons a pretty pink tutu and begins spinning."

"Are you loved at home?"

"Fieberg? Oh sorry, I was the only person raising my hand so I called on myself."

"Why did the cat fall off the cliff? I don't know he has 9 lives."

"Can you hear me on my microphone when I leave the room? Good, because I was afraid it would sound like I was peeing when I was filling up my cup with water."

"I'm trying to get dizzy because it's fun to get dizzy. *giggles* Carter has like eight heads right now. Best he's ever looked all year!"

"Do you guys happen to like cats? No? Are you allergic? Great. Ok, so back to launching cats off cliffs."

"I have only one talent, and it's to go that way really fast."

"I'm doing a good job right here.Lemme keep this up. *student walks up* What do you want? I'm rapping!"

"Student: What does the F stand for?"
"Fieberg: Your grade!"

"Rosa parks was my best joke"

"TYLER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG"

"Rob stop talking and start doing your work"

"Who here thinks they're screwed?"
->All of the class raises hands
"I'm not talking about your life guys, I'm talking about the activity"

"Rob I can hear you..."

"Tyler stop editing my quotes"

"Do you want to see my big muscles?"

"So when your parent tells you to shut off the lights, just flip them a quarter and tell 'em 'shut up.'"